Mentor's Field Guide · #5
Setting goals together: how mentors help people own their goals
A mentor doesn't choose the destination for someone. A mentor helps them see the destination is possible — and walks with them as they work toward it.
Quick answer
Mentors set goals together with mentees by asking what they want, exploring what's possible, and turning ideas into steps — then checking in, celebrating small wins, and helping through setbacks. The mentee owns the goal.
Help people find where they want to go
Mentors shouldn't be setting somebody else's goals for them. They should be helping them figure out where they want to go. There's a difference.
As mentors, we can see potential in people that they may not see in themselves yet. We can encourage them, challenge them, and help them think bigger. But at the end of the day, they have to own the goal.
How to set goals together
Goal setting in mentorship is a conversation, not an assignment:
- Sit down and have the conversation.
- Ask what they want for themselves.
- Talk about what's possible.
- Turn those ideas into steps they can actually work toward.
Don't disappear after the goal is written down
The real work of mentoring happens after the plan is made:
- Check in.
- Ask about the progress.
- Celebrate the small wins.
- Help them work through the setbacks.
- Remind them why they started.
Why it matters for leaders and organizations
Goals people own are goals people keep. Managers who co-create development goals see stronger engagement. Youth and workforce programs that pair goal setting with consistent mentor check-ins help participants move from intention to action. Organizations building mentorship programs should make shared goal setting and regular follow-up part of every match.
This lesson builds on Field Guide #4, Asking Better Questions — the right questions help people discover the goals that are truly theirs.
Walk with them
A mentor doesn't choose the destination for someone. A mentor helps them see that the destination is possible — and walks with them as they work toward it.
Frequently asked questions
- Should a mentor set goals for a mentee?
- No. A mentor helps the person figure out where they want to go. Mentors can encourage, challenge, and help people think bigger, but the mentee has to own the goal.
- How do mentors and mentees set goals together?
- Sit down and have the conversation. Ask what they want for themselves, talk about what's possible, then help turn those ideas into steps they can actually work toward.
- What should a mentor do after a goal is set?
- Don't disappear. Check in, ask about progress, celebrate small wins, help work through setbacks, and remind them why they started.
- What is the mentor's role in goal setting?
- A mentor doesn't choose the destination. A mentor helps someone see that the destination is possible and walks with them as they work toward it.
- Where does this lesson come from?
- It is Field Guide #5 of The Mentor's Field Guide video series by Melvin Williams Sr, author of There's a Mentor in You.
Bring this message to your people
Melvin Williams Sr is a mentorship and leadership speaker and the author of There's a Mentor in You. See his keynote topics or browse the Mentor Truths.